Urgency

    In my personal life, I've grown up in, adapted to, and functioned within a culture that's centered around urgency. Getting hired to do sales was one of the best ways to learn urgency because if I wasn't on time I wouldn't get the sale, and if I wasn't early I would be too late. Yet, this has caused quite a bit of tension in my life especially in relationship with God and with others, because it has caused me to think of the next best step, and instead of waiting on it, taking it out of step which causes me to be out of sync and out of time, and instead of being ruled by God's timing I am instead ruled by the timing of the market or the timing I think is best.

    I used to joke that life with God is more about unlearning things than it is about learning new things. While I don't really believe that this is the case anymore, I think it's a funny thing to point out in this context. I've got to unlearn urgency, and I'm really writing this blog post because I want to discuss with myself how I might do that. 

    So let's say with our friend, I have a certain conviction that I'm supposed to work with them in ministry, or be in a relationship with them, or do something in the future that is not yet the reality. For whatever reason I feel I often am made aware of these things far before the other person is, and it is a huge tension to let it roll in the timing that God desires to roll it out in. My problem is that as soon as I've realized that it is a thing that God wants to do I figure it's on His heart to do the thing right now, and so I'll take appropriate steps to make the vision a reality. The problem is is that if He had a vision with a time stamp on it I wouldn't have heard the time stamp because I didn't ask or I didn't bother to look.

    To be honest this is something that I've been learning for the past few months. My sense of urgency and restlessness to do a thing or get a matter over with so I can move on to the next thing rarely honors the timing God has in mind, and only speaks to how insensitive I can be to timing. What He's trying to teach me is rest, and staying in patience. Even this matter I'd love to take with the urgency mindset and say "OKAY GOD I'VE LEARNED PATIENCE NOW WHAT." But that would be missing the point, and would again speak to the fact that I haven't actually learned anything. 

    So what must I do to learn? To take these thoughts and actions, and desires and submit them to the desires and timing of the Lord is a good start. It always starts with submission. The second thing would echo the command to "not worry about anything. Instead, seek the kingdom and its righteousness first." That's not to say there isn't a time and a place for urgency, but the thing that I'm learning is not urgency, the thing that I'm learning is the time and the place. To be on this land in France, to be in the time and the age that God decided He wanted me to be in. I'm learning how to rest. Today has not been restful, but even still I must learn how to rest in my emotions.