Timing is everything. God's timing is the ultimate, and other than His timing there is no perfect timing. His principle for Time is holiness, our need for His time is nearly unbearable. His presence in time is all of it. There is a flow to His time, a flow that makes sense to our spirits, and to our minds and souls if we let it take us. There are also obstacles to His time. Today I'm going to be talking about some of the obstacles I've had in my emotions following more fully His time.
During the staff meeting today the guest speaker who was with us explained the way that pruning happens in a vineyard, and how pruning half of the fruit-bearing vines will generally generate product 5x more valuable than if they hadn't pruned anything. So I asked Jesus "Hey, is there anything that you'd like to prune in my life?". He immediately responded with "your music." I know that's what He said, but I haven't even processed how unconsciously my habits with music are, whether I practice singing scales, make a rhythm up with my hands, or start humming a melody. Now that I'm trying to allow Him to prune music from my life, I am beginning to realize the gravity of how much it hurts to let go of music. Something I LOVE dearly. Something I even believe I've been gifted in and is part of my design.
Pruning is a violent process, and if you ever get the opportunity to watch someone prune their grapevines or their canopy, I would suggest paying attention to how much force they use to pull the vines apart while cutting and ripping life-bearing branches and stems apart. It's confusing, it doesn't make any sense, and it certainly feels like the vinedresser is purposefully hurting the plant. Yet in my study of inner-healing, I've been learning the difference between "hurting" and "harming." Harming the plant would be neglecting to feed it, or water it. Harming the plant would be allowing pests and foreign insects to eat its roots and trunk. Hurting it would be pruning it, refining, and only allowing the best fruit-bearing vines and stems to live. Why? Because it's an investment in bearing life and life abundantly.
So, while pruning the branch of my life that is producing music certainly hurts, it is helpful and conducive to having more excellent fruits in the life that Jesus has given me. I believe that, though in my emotions there is seated a sense of betrayal, confusion, and questioning, and distrust. Each of these has to be felt and dealt with in its own way, and I'm going to be working through them with God. In my spirit and in my head, however, I know that I can trust the vinedresser as I stay connected with the vine.