"Hey, you just 'should' on me." is a quote I was given once. My good friend and discipler once said this to me while I was trying to administer some wisdom and advice on how he should handle his situation he was going through. I thought it was funny, but he did not think it was funny, and it really opened my eyes to the way I commanded and sort of pushed people into the gospel and into wisdom. "You should really believe on Jesus", or "you should really think about repenting." are two commands we often most get in a (healthy) church. Yet the way we use the word "should" is really quite different than the bible uses it, mostly because the Hebrew language doesn't seem to have the feature of "should". Any verb would just be conjugated in the sense that it's a future hypothetical, but never a command. "It is not good that man should be alone."
Last night a friend on base here and I were talking, and she mentioned that it's really not good at all to say "should" because of the response that happens fairly automatically of guilt when that "should" is not fulfilled. That guilt response can look differently in many people, but as someone who really like to be honest, and pursues it strongly, I could understand what she was saying. The thing is when I don't fulfill something as fully as I "could've" or "should've", so often the problem comes from within where I know I could've done better, or feel strongly that the product I made was lack luster, or will never measure up to how I envisioned it. I've really just now been thinking about this concept, and am now realizing just how often I think in "shoulds."
My mom often said something like "shoulda, coulda, woulda." While I'm unsure as to the effects of this emotionally in myself, I do know that often I felt guilty because of this phrase, or somehow knew what was produced could've been much better. Frankly, now, it will be best to start deleting each of these words from my vocabulary. Now I must look at the fruits I am bearing currently, and rejoice with God in that. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I'm reaching new avenues of repentance and purity in the Lord, and am really starting to see the fruits of the Spirit in my personal life and relationships. Where before I don't know how patient or gentle I'd be, I know that those are things that are newly available to me, and the tool of forgiveness and praise are two that are most valuable for those wanting to reach closer to the Lord.
Reader I bless you in the mighty name of Jesus. I bless you with the reality in Heaven written about you, of how proud your Father in Heaven is of you, and how He smiles and His heart glows when He thinks of you. I bless you in acknowledging his presence in your daily life, and with the ability and revelation to continue to see his work throughout your day. I bless you with every spiritual blessing that Christ, through His sacrifice has afforded to us. I bless you in your walk with your brothers and sisters in unity, that you might see and find new depths of love for your brothers and sisters, but also for your love in Jesus. I bless you with the faith of the Son, and the repentance of His Priesthood. Amen.
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