Ministry of Reconciliation - Spirit

    Lately, I've been processing a bit of the concept of reconciliation on a deeper level than I've sat in before, and the layers that have been sort of 'uncovered' have a lot to do with how deeply the Father actually wants to participate in reconciling all things to Jesus. Usually, the way that reconciliation starts is from the top down. For me, the process started with the intentionality of Jesus moving me to France, laying me down in the vineyards here, and making me rest. The things I've experienced in rest and taking rest seriously have been rewarding to the uttermost. He introduced me to a ministry that focuses very heavily on ministry to the human spirit, and I spent much of the time I was resting listening to the teachings that this ministry has shared based on what they've experienced and seen. It had a profound effect on me and to get into the specifics of what I've experienced you'll have to bear with me because I'm not providing apologetics or scripture references.

    My spirit started being ministered to in the presence of God, during worship and while we were ministering to His presence. I didn't know it yet but my spirit was very much responding to His Spirit and was coming to a place of deeper communion. As I began to discover the framework with which to communicate with my spirit, I also began to realize that what I was seeing in the spirit reflected closely what the person who was teaching about it had realized. One of the first pictures I received while in this process was a female portion of my spirit who was supposed to be leading the whole spirit who had leprosy and was crouched in a corner. Her hair was sickly, and her body frail, and she had been stuck in a stone room of a sort. As I realized that she was very much a part of me I also began to realize how important it was to see her and to know her. Then I asked Jesus to retrieve her from her place, and with a little help from some people that were around me, we cleaned her up after asking her to forgive those who had rejected her and brought her to the lead of the spirit. After this image, I realized that the other 6 portions of my spirit were in similar rooms right next to her, and while I don't think this place is where they were supposed to be, there were two rooms that were completely empty, and out of the four portions that were there, only two were truly functioning at a strong level. My teacher portion, though he was functioning well, hadn't been nourished well except for my knowledge and heady things. He hadn't truly experienced the love of God, and this was a similar case for my spirit in its entirety.

    It was an exciting time to see my spirit, and though things have not been super easy, I know that one of the things that have helped me reconcile most with my spirit is learning how to hear when my spirit is speaking, and the difference between my heart, my spirit, my soul, and various other parts of my being that have different kinds of voices. I have also worked to hear the texture of other people's spirits, and while there often seems to be a sort of disparage for some between their soul and spirit, I know that a very important step that I'm walking on now is the pain of reconciling to my soul. This process is more painful and heart-aching than any other process I've ever been through, and being honest with you I kind of hate it, but it's necessary. Part of the importance of this process is letting go of past pains but also learning to trust myself. No amount of forgiveness can teach me to trust me. My soul doesn't trust me still. Yet my spirit does, and it's the part of me that I trust the most. As I learn more about reconciling with myself, so do I learn about reconciling with other parts of creation. Please pray that I would continue to grow in my soul toward the Holy Spirit and the Father.