I carry a core belief that I'm slowly working on getting rid of that is about anger. We feel it most often when there's an overstepping of our boundaries, said or unsaid. It can often be a violent emotion and is a powerful catalyst for battle. My core belief is that it is mostly useless nowadays, and if we were only just better at communicating interpersonally then we wouldn't have to be angry with one another. Yet, I have only ever seen a righteous expression of anger from a few select people, and the first person I think of is Jesus. Sure we can point to what he did at the temple and the turning over of tables, but my mind first goes to chapters like Ezekiel 17-18, 22, 23, Exodus 34. These are times when God was angry, and when He expressed His anger who had not listened to His precepts, nor followed their own word to walk in accordance with His law. Yet, He worked out His anger through the precepts and law that He had given them. He warned them of EVERY consequence that they might receive should they betray Him and overstep His boundaries.
This wasn't a principle or a universal law that at some level every human must take accountability for, these were the codes and guides that the LORD had given to His people because He wanted to make them a nation of priests, and to be a glory in all the earth. At this very same level each consequence HAD to be communicated by God Himself so that when the more harsh consequences came about, His people would recognize that they were being reprimanded and disciplined with an iron rod. Those that believed God was unjust were also normally the ones that received the worst treatment. Not only was the iron rod slashed on their back, but it was also heated up before, meant to leave blisters and wounds that may bleed profusely for days at a time. There is ALWAYS healing for that, and that's not really what I'm getting at. I'm getting at the fact that God showed anger in many different ways, but mostly as His people Israel. There are cases all throughout the History of God showing His anger through other nations and empires, and of course, we can find where God's hand was in every story; if we look.
I have been experiencing a form of frustration as of late mostly because I have desires that aren't being met. I have a desire to communicate and to be communicated with. To walk in unity with my base leaders, and their vision and the reason for the frustration is that what they want from me, and for me, and what my heart wants, feel like totally diametric oppositions. This is a challenge I'm dealing with right now, and having grown from a place where I would default to; that is: go into a form of hopelessness and isolation because I believed nobody will hear my complaint or my frustration. Now my challenge is actually addressing these thoughts and emotions rooted in anger, whether it be angry at the unjust way I was raised or perceptibly bad boundaries that have been laid out. I need to be able to handle the confrontation and communicate from my heart where I'm at with everything.
The fears that are associated with this expression of emotions is that I will be rejected for showing them, that I will be misunderstood, and that it will be too much for the people around me to handle. 'Course these are not realities, and can easily be combated. The true task is being lucid and congruent enough with myself that I say what's on my heart concise and accurately, and for that I look to the most congruent man on Earth, Jesus.
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